Lunch With Sandy
Welcome to the "Lunch With Sandy" podcast, where we serve up candid conversations seasoned with humor and insight. Join us as we delve into much-needed discussions, sprinkled with our unique sense of humor. On the menu, you'll find a variety of topics, from conflict resolution to navigating tricky questions with grace. We also explore current events, sharing our perspectives on the everyday trials and triumphs. So pull up a chair, grab a plate, and enjoy the feast of conversation.
Lunch With Sandy
Equipping Our Children for Tomorrow
Join me and Sandy as we tackle the urgent task of equipping our children for the complexities of the future. We're not just talking about reading, writing, and arithmetic. We're discussing the essential skills that will stand the test of time: critical thinking, problem-solving, and adaptability. Our conversation takes a hard look at the gaps in current education systems and how, as parents and community members, we must step up to fill those voids. Rekindling creativity within classroom walls is just the tip of the iceberg; together, we explore how to truly prepare our kids to navigate the challenges ahead.
Emotional intelligence isn't a buzzword—it's a necessity. Sandy and I dissect the indispensable role of emotional smarts in shaping the leaders of tomorrow. We stress the shared duty of schools and parents in nurturing self-awareness, motivation, empathy, and the ability to connect with others. These years are pivotal, as they set the stage for how our children will manage emotions and relationships for life. The dialogue moves beyond the basics, highlighting why effective communication and conflict resolution are skills that must be ingrained from early on.
As the conversation wraps, Sandy and I reflect on the art of balancing ambition with realism when guiding our offspring. Dreaming big is non-negotiable, but it's equally crucial to ground these dreams with lessons in determination, resilience, and the value of financial savvy. Speaking from our own life lessons, we share insights on fostering independence, thoughtful decision-making, and preparing children for a life marked by meaningful achievements. Tune in for a thought-provoking episode that promises to leave parents empowered and ready to take an active role in their child's future.
In a relationship, when is honesty not the best policy? How do you balance what you want versus what you need, and is there something you need to say to your spouse but can't find the right way to say it? If so, then you're in the right place. This is the Lunch with Sandy podcast. With nearly 20 years of marriage under their belts, Terrance and Sandy Jackson discuss a range of topics, provide valuable insights on relationships and talk about the conversations married couples need to have. So what does lunch have to do with all of this? Well, it's a metaphor for how these conversations originally started. Speaking of conversations, let's get one going. Here's your hosts, Terrance and Sandy.
Terrance:Welcome to the Lunch with Sandy podcast, where we discuss a range of different topics and give you perspective from two individuals who have been married for a very long time. I'm Terrence.
Sandy:I'm Sandy.
Terrance:And today we're going to be discussing how to prepare your kids for the future. But before we get into that, two things we have to get out of the way. First, I wanted to shine a light on Bryant plumbing. As you know, last week we had a situation where there was a leak at one of the apartment houses and I reached out to Nick from Bryant plumbing and Nick happened to be on paternity leave. Say that 10 times, yeah, I know, but he still managed to find time to come out and take care of that situation over at the apartment house, leaving his two week old daughter to come provide aid. So shout out to Bryant plumbing and Nick Bryan for coming through on the pressure. Now you know how we start every episode and it's morphed into its own section of the podcast, and that is. We have to ask that burning question how's Sandy?
Sandy:Sandy's tired. Sandy's ready for a nap. My schedule has been all jacked up this week.
Terrance:Yeah, I had a rough week. This is that time of year where there's so many things going on. The earliest I've been to bed in the past you know four days has probably been 10, 30, 11. I slept at four in the morning and last night was rough. I wanted to nap earlier but I just couldn't.
Sandy:This is what weekends have become.
Terrance:taking a nap, that's what I look for hey, ain't nothing wrong with taking a nap. So today we're going to talk about something that needs to be talked about. When you look at everything that's going on, it's hard to imagine what it's going to be like when your kids come to the point where they have to go out and deal with all of this stuff. So what I wanted to do today was I wanted to have a conversation about some of the things that we need to do to start preparing our kids to face the challenges that they're going to face in this world. I wanted to look at three areas, or three perspectives that we need to start taking a closer look at in order to prepare our kids for the future. It sound like a plan. You looking at me like huh?
Sandy:No, because all I keep hearing in my head is children of the future, that song from the back of the day. So it just keeps playing on repeat in there.
Terrance:Well, a portion of that is true. It is true. Eventually, children are going to grow up and when they grow up, it's going to be in the future. Yeah, it's going to be in our future.
Sandy:We were somebody's future, if you think about it. I mean listen.
Terrance:it's true, it's true.
Sandy:And I'm sure they had those comments. Ah, these young kids.
Terrance:Oh man sitting on a, oh man sitting on a grass.
Terrance:So when we talk about preparing kids for the future, there are a couple of skill sets that I think are going to be essential for that right Critical thinking, problem solving and adaptability.
Terrance:So when I started thinking about this, I said, okay, let's look at the three areas that I feel we need to actually focus on to make sure that we're doing what we can to prepare these children's for the future. And the first one I wanted to peer into was the educational system, and I know that there's a lot that has been said about the educational system, particularly here, where we're located, and I know there have been a lot of changes to integrate some things to better prepare our kids for the future. So let's just jump right into it. Right, I think that there are some gaps when we start talking about what they do to educate our kids, and part of it has to do with funding. I think part of it has to do with resources, but I think that when we start talking about preparing our kids for the future, I think they need to bring some creative elements back in the schools. You know why are you laughing?
Sandy:Because all I can think about is the typewriting class that I had back in middle school.
Terrance:I'm not talking about the typewriting class, but you know how in a lot of these schools, a lot of those extracurricular activities, some of those things have been removed from the schools.
Sandy:Yeah, I feel like sports and I guess music is still so integral, but I don't know if there's that much focus. I feel like when things are cut it's always either the sports or like things like music or, I think, chorus and things of that nature.
Terrance:So I think the big you know. So you hit on a sports and in some cases sports, but in most cases when you start talking about the arts like music, art, those type of things.
Sandy:That would have been a better way to summarize that.
Terrance:And, when you think about it, those offer Very creative outlets for kids and when you remove that, you're not fostering as much creativity in them as you could be it's. It's a situation where now it's and I'm not saying it shouldn't be regimented, but it's so regimented with you know the particulars of the academic portion that it's boom, boom, boom, boom, boom and there's a a sense or or a feeling of Robotism when you start talking about kids being educated.
Sandy:Yeah, I think the arts, you know, that's your creativity outlet, right, and, like I know, like some of the STEM stuff and building robots and things of that nature, you can be creative with that. I'm not taking that away from it. However, you know, I just know how I feel when I play the piano and it's a different feeling, like I Don't know, it's just hard to describe, but like happiness and being able to produce Good-sounding music.
Terrance:Well, here's the thing I'm gonna I'm going to define it for you. You love doing it.
Terrance:I do and here's the thing when you ed, when you talk about education and you talk about schooling and you talk about having those pieces that are necessary, but sprinkling in that you know those creative arts and all those things, those things that the kids like to do, you start to teach them. Or they start to Love to learn, because it's not just math, science, social studies, yeah, it's that creative outlet, it's that experience of making something in art classes, that experience of, you know, making a piece of music. And I know we're fortunate because in our area some of those art Programs still exist, but in a lot of cases those are one of the first things that get cut. Yeah, and when we talk about preparing our kids for the future, right, we're talking about Putting them out in society, and so if they're not well-rounded and if it's just Book smart, right, if it's just math, science and those things, they're gonna be at a disadvantage. Yeah, and.
Terrance:When they're at a disadvantage, our future is gonna be at a disadvantage, I feel. At some point, if we don't start addressing that piece, they may end up being lost.
Sandy:Yeah, I know for nothing. When I've had a long day at work, sometimes even to just clear my head, sitting down at the piano is really what does that, you know? So it's not even just kind of a Creativity part, it's also almost mental health and it helps me to actually think more clearly. Yeah, now I've taken a step away from the math and the problem-solving and the analytical skills that I'm using day to day.
Sandy:Yeah and I'm, you know, taking a step back and it just makes me a little bit more. Well, I can bet I'm clear for you. That's not the.
Terrance:We gotta miss Cleo, you gotta miss Cleo over here.
Sandy:That's not really the word I was looking for, but I like it. It's a nice word, so I'm just gonna use it. Oh goodness, clear-minded, I guess would have been a better term, but I like clairvoyant.
Terrance:Yeah, well which is sounds better clairvoyant sandy, you know, one of the other things, too, that we need to start finding a way to do when we start talking about educating these kids is trying a way to bridge you know they Theory with actual practice.
Terrance:Mm-hmm like giving them real-world experience. And I know, as they start to get older or you start to approach some of the older grades, depending on the school, mm-hmm, you have the opportunity to do like some internships or things like that, but I think overall it would be better, or A child would be better prepared, if that real-world experience was introduced to them while they were actually in school. And I'm not saying let me take a step back for a second, I'm not saying that, I'm not putting this all on the teachers. I'm looking at this from the perspective of when we start looking at what we're doing to prepare our kids, as opposed to what they may be doing somewhere else in another country. Mm-hmm.
Terrance:I'm trying to think about what can we do to give our kids, if not an advantage, a Level playing field, so when they get out in the world, it's even Stevens.
Sandy:This is funny that you say that, and I'm actually gonna bring it back to someone, back to sports. I feel like In our culture it's so me, me, me. Sometimes you know it's, you know I gotta be the best that I need to be. But in the real world you don't work in a silo, and I think that's why I brought up sports earlier is that I think the best thing that sports can actually teach somebody is One, coming out of their comfort zone, right, and then two, what it is to be a team player.
Terrance:Okay, for a second, I thought you were gonna miss that for a second. I'm like okay.
Speaker 4:One Just being put in a situation that it's not always, you know, easy peasy.
Sandy:Out of your comfort zone. No, that happens all the time in the real world.
Terrance:No, the team the team piece is Huge because that part is the biggest part. Well, yeah, I think that's the biggest part. Collaboration is necessary.
Terrance:Once you get in the real world, you're never going to be able to do everything by yourself, right, and you're gonna be in many situations where you may have to collaborate to achieve a task or a goal and If you haven't been exposed to it, or if you're just opposed to it, and then you're gonna spit. You're gonna face some challenges, right, and which is kind of funny because I know that the schools do try to do like some team projects, but I feel like this is a couple of concepts I'm scared right now.
Sandy:Let me just tell you he's just a lot more responsible in design and you know they're. It's the same issues all the time. It hasn't changed from when I was in school and I had to do team project. It was always the one with more of a leadership type skill that ended up taking over the situation. It was usually me and then, like the person that didn't want to put any effort in, you just kind of Stopped, even bother.
Terrance:I want to roll back to what you said for a second, I want you to answer this question Uh-huh, are you a Karen in team situations?
Sandy:Oh, I'm most definitely so oh goodness, no, I'm not like that. I'm not that bad, I'm not a Karen, I'm just very.
Terrance:Let me first apologize. Everyone name Karen out there. I meant no disrespect.
Sandy:I know, I know Ray, like it's the worst name.
Terrance:Are you a Sandy in those situations?
Sandy:But I am, I just kind of take control of I'm Well, I'm not the bad sense. We're gonna when I'm just right, you know, trying to get people in trouble for nothing.
Terrance:We're gonna reel it back for me for a second, really back from you for a second, that you said something as you were going through that explanation and talking about. You know there's always that one person, but what that does is it teaches you how to deal with different dynamics of an actual group. So even if you have a situation where someone is taking over everything when they're exposed to it and they come across it later in life, or even when they come across it the first time, they begin to develop skills to deal with it.
Sandy:Well, and that's, I think, when there is a gap in the school system. I don't think the school has really or the educational system, I'll say, has really figured out how to navigate. And well, show the kids how to navigate through that situation. It's not like they're asking for feedback from every single kid, like tell me how the project's going, you know what I mean. And then, oh so, and so is taking over. This person's not doing anything.
Terrance:Yeah, I'm not gonna go too far down, so I don't want to kind of throw in the men, but you're not giving them any guidance.
Terrance:Well, here's. I don't want to go too far down that road, because the one thing that we got to keep in mind is this as Parents, we can't rely on the schools to do everything for our kids, and I think that's what happens sometimes, and I think, when you start talking about the amount of time that they're there and the amount of time that and the amount of Information they have to provide to the kids by law, mm-hmm.
Sandy:We have to be able to find a better balance, and I think that that's tough to do, but I think we have to start looking at ways to do that right and that's why, like I said, I brought up the sports, because I feel like in that environment it's so much easier to have that collective, you know, team working environment, like what it really feels like to work together as a team.
Terrance:Yeah, but the thing with sports, though, is, for the most part, it's after school. Yeah, I know it's after school. What I want to address now, or what what I'm trying to focus on now, is when they're in that classroom, when they're in that building outside of you know, the time that's extra curricular for sports or things like that Looking at ways so we can actually better prepare them and I mentioned a little earlier about how the parents have to get involved, but I think this is something that Schools need to start Investing more in what's gonna say?
Sandy:parents need to know when to be involved and when not to be well, no well, since I tried tracking what I'm sorry, sorry, good this particular point that I'm going to make.
Terrance:Parents need to have accountability, but we have to find a way to have the schools start looking at ways that they can actually help kids with this, and that is dealing with, or teaching them, emotional intelligence.
Terrance:And I'm gonna I'm gonna define some of the things that I'm talking about when I say emotional intelligence, because people say, oh Well, yeah, you know they need to be emotionally intelligent. When I talk about Emotional intelligence, I talk, I'm speaking of a number of things, right, and I'm gonna give you, I'd say, roughly four to five points, right? The first is self-awareness, and you might be thinking, why self-awareness? Of course, well, you have to be able to Recognize and understand your own emotions, and that's hard for for for kids, particularly when they're young, because they might not be fully developed From the perspective of I'm talking about, you know, the mental space. But I think that, because our kids are in school during those formative years, we have to find ways to help guide them so they can actually Strengthen those skill sets or learn how to deal with those things when they actually come up Right. So self-awareness is one of those. Self-regulation is another. When I talk about self-regulation, I'm talking about teaching them how to manage their own emotions.
Terrance:Mm-hmm the correct way.
Sandy:Right, not just me, I'll burst.
Terrance:Well, you know they're gonna be situations that come up. You know Teaching, teaching them how to remain calm. When they remain calm, you know controlling their reactions and things like that. Mm-hmm when I say teaching them, I use that term and again I said this is not something that we just have to put on the.
Terrance:Educational system. Parents need to be doing this also and it should be happening in conjunction. But for a good portion of the day they're in the school. So if you're, if you're working on teaching kids emotional intelligence at home and then in school you know they're allowed to run rampant, then there's gonna be issues there, right, because that consistency is not going to be there. So when I say self-awareness, it's self-regulation. Get motivation.
Terrance:We have to start getting them to work towards goals, motivating them to actually look at a task and work towards actually completing it. And again, that's something that I think, all these things, when you start talking about the future and down the road, it's gonna be beneficial and gonna actually help them achieve what they're gonna need to achieve when they get to a point where they are the future. Yeah, and this is something that I think everyone needs to learn, and it's not just based off kids that are in school. Some people don't have it now and that's empathy. I think that we need to start making sure that when we're talking to kids and we're talking about educating them, we explain to them empathy and we help them learn how to be empathetic towards others.
Sandy:I laugh because I feel like I've had this conversation with Ayla. Like Ayla is a very sweet kid and she's very kind to people, but sometimes I'm like kid. Where is your empathy?
Terrance:I think part of it is when you start talking about they go to school, they're learning these hard subjects. Yeah. And there's not much that's geared towards these other aspects, like emotional intelligence. Yeah.
Terrance:And the last point I'll make about that whole emotional intelligence, those pieces that I think that they should be, these pieces that I feel that they're missing in the educational system, and that's social skills. Now, I know that kids are social in school, but when I talk about social skills, I'm talking about OK, well, are we teaching them to communicate effectively? Are we helping them learn conflict resolution?
Sandy:Are we helping them learn to read the room?
Terrance:Well, that's a. I don't know if some adults have learned to do that yet but, you know, I feel like it's still a valid one. Helping them stimulate or better deal with the ability to collaborate and work well with others. Those type of social skills are some things that we need to make sure that we're doing a better job when we start talking about the educational system and how we're preparing our kids for the future.
Sandy:Yeah, and I've always thought for a while now, communication's a big one. I feel like they don't really conversate as much.
Terrance:And they communicate completely different, and that's I'm not going to say it's a problem, but it's different. And. I think the fact that it's different, we as parents, as teachers, have to be able to look at that and say, OK, well, how do we work that into the whole, the big picture?
Sandy:Honestly, which is kind of funny, because I was with my mom and two of her friends today and they were talking about how our generation doesn't talk on the phone and I'm like I've been talking all day at work. Why would I want to pick up the phone and talk all night with somebody on the phone? I said no, I rather, you know, conversate with them in person. I don't want to do it over the phone.
Terrance:Well, you know, the funny thing about that is, at one point we did.
Sandy:I know I don't anymore. Well, we didn't have an option.
Terrance:The younger generation changed the game. The younger generation changed the game with text, messaging and all those things, and we just fell right into it and I try not to do too much of it, but I mean it's different, it can be effective, but at the same time that connection is not there and you can misinterpret a lot of things with text, with text. And that transitioned perfectly to the second aspect that I want to talk about when we talk about preparing our kids for the future, and that is technology, technology is a game changer. I mean that literally and figuratively.
Terrance:The thing about technology is it's a tool. It's a great tool if you use it correctly and, conversely, if you don't use it correctly, it can be a hindrance. So we need to find ways to teach our kids digital literacy. Yes, and they said it Now, when I talk about digital literacy, I'm talking about basic to advanced skills how to interact and critically evaluate in the digital world. And I say that because the problem is well not the problem. I say that because the younger generation they live in that digital space. They do so much in that digital space, in there, they have access to so much that if we don't teach them how to evaluate or to think about what type of information that they're actually getting, they're going to actually end up with a whole bunch of issues.
Sandy:Yeah, so all right. So number one right. Not everything you read on the internet is accurate.
Terrance:I saw it on Google.
Sandy:I feel like that's definitely a number one. Is it a credible source? Yeah, like, where did you read that? Because there is so much information out there and you can really disseminate a lot of incorrect information so easily these days that kids definitely need to comprehend that they're not evaluating it, they're just ingesting it, and that's why we have to teach them about okay.
Terrance:Well, you just can't believe everything that you actually read. You have to be able to evaluate whatever information that's coming at you, and that's a challenge for a lot of parents, because-.
Sandy:See, that's a challenge for adults.
Terrance:Yeah, it's a challenge for a lot of parents, because if you can't do it, if you can't teach them, then where they're gonna get it from, and if they get it from their friends, that whole evaluating piece it's not gonna happen. So, at a minimum from the perspective of how do we teach them, to evaluate that, first and foremost, we wanna make sure that we're teaching them how to be safe when it comes to being online and using different technologies. We also wanna try to find ways and again, this is a challenge when you talk about a lot of adults, not for me, because I'm in the field but teaching them how to use technology to problem solve, because now, when you do that, there's a use for it, it's not just a okay, well, I'm playing games. Yeah.
Terrance:I'm doing whatever I want on social media. You're using it as an actual tool.
Sandy:Yeah.
Terrance:That's why.
Sandy:Google is my best friend. Oh yeah, goodness.
Terrance:I remember it was short lived, but I remember I had tried to get Ayla to learn how to build actual games when she first got into Roblox.
Sandy:Oh, to like coding, yeah, yeah.
Terrance:coding, yeah, yeah, and it was. She was down with it for a minute until got to be some work and she was like I'm out, that's it, I'm done.
Sandy:Yeah, which is interesting because I don't think she has any idea what she wants to do. But, and I'm wondering, is it going to be something where she's like I just want a career, right, I don't have to put a lot of time and energy into it?
Terrance:Nope, because we're going to prepare her properly. That's not going to be the situation.
Sandy:But coding is a good one. I feel like more people should learn it oh 100%. Computers are. They're not going away, they're just.
Terrance:They're not going away. I mean, they may be replacing some people.
Sandy:I know I was going to say, if anything, they might be replacing some people. You're the.
Terrance:AI out there.
Sandy:Going to replace people, so hence you need to be able to.
Terrance:You want to be able to code the AI that's going to replace the people Right exactly. That's why you got to pick up coding.
Sandy:That's the only way that it replaces. But no, you're right, I use. Well, not even from a personal perspective, because I do Google everything if I don't know the answer.
Terrance:Yeah, you do Google everything.
Sandy:Well, it beats having a million encyclopedias. I don't know the answer to that. Hold on, because for me it's all about just no, so yeah, because I was going to say you just said I don't know the answer to that.
Terrance:I don't even care about the answer to that, you have to know I do.
Sandy:I do have to know, because if I don't know, I want to know, even if I forget it 10 minutes later.
Terrance:Which is the case.
Sandy:I want to know.
Terrance:Which is the case.
Sandy:For that moment in time, because it's a learning opportunity for myself. But no, at work I do it all the time. I'm constantly problem solving. So I work a lot in Excel and I do things in like SharePoint and stuff and I run into problems. What do I do? Start?
Announcer:Googling it Google.
Sandy:Google. Google. Well, because usually, if it's a problem that I'm experiencing, someone else is already probably experiencing it.
Terrance:But here's what we're going to do we're going to pull this back from you because we're talking about teaching the kids. Are we teaching you?
Sandy:No, I just mean like it's such a valuable tool, the kids do need to learn how to use that, because that is going to help them.
Terrance:Exactly In their careers. Well, not just survival. Survival, too, it's survival, and so I'm about to get to this, the last angle that I want to look at, when we talk about some things, or when we talk about being able to better prepare our kids for the future and responsibilities. We talked about the educational system, we talked about technology. Now we're going to talk about the culprits, the parents. You know, as a parent, we have the responsibility of making sure our kids have the necessary tools that they need to survive. When we push them out I don't want to say push them out when they go out into the world, into society, we want them to be able to actually thrive, because if they don't thrive, then they come back.
Terrance:They boomerang, they come back. Listen, I don't care if my kids come back, but there are some things that we should be doing to prepare our kids, and what I've done is I've come up with eight things that parents should be doing to prepare their kids. Now there's more than eight, but these eight I want to focus on, and I have a list in front of you, and so I'm going to take some of these. I'm going to give you the opportunity to read some of these, but I want to go with the first one, because we talked about the educational system and I said that parents have some responsibility. Parents should be engaging with the kids' school and they should be fostering a learning environment at home.
Terrance:Again, I think too often what happens is we put the responsibility of everything on teachers when it comes to our kids, and I said, first off, let me stop and give a shout out. I think being a teacher is one of the most undervalued professions in this country and I would say the world, but I'm not another part of the world. They have such a responsibility of molding our kids and they might not even realize it. We talked a few episodes back about how kids model behavior. It's not just our behavior that they actually model In their formative years or young years. They model the behavior of those teachers who interact with them often, more times than we do on a daily basis. So parents need to do that, they need to do that part and they need to engage with the kids' school and foster that learning environment at home.
Sandy:Yeah, I agree with that one. So, no, no, big shout out to teachers, because they do have a lot on them. And then not only is it teaching the children, but sometimes it's even just managing some of those kids, you know, battling with them.
Terrance:Some of your children is bad.
Sandy:Exactly. Every parent needs to not think that their child is perfect, because that is not the case. Sometimes I've in the past looked at our kids. You may not be doing something like that and that also kind of like leads into. We need to instill values in our children, like we need them to respect people. We need them to be honest, to persevere. Like you said earlier, it's not that they having that emotional intelligence and being kind. Like Alah says, be a buddy, not a bully.
Terrance:Yes, I don't know she kills me with that. It's funny because you can tell not everything, but you do get a little inclination of what happens at home when you run into somebody's kids. And I'm not judging anyone, I just think that we tend not to think long term. We tend to think some of the things that our kids do. It's cute. Yeah. The problem is once it becomes habit and once you've deemed it as cute.
Sandy:Yeah, it's not cute forever.
Terrance:It becomes part of who they are. Yes, and when we start talking about preparing our kids for the future, we want to make sure that all the cute stuff is fine, but the values that we instill in them they carry forward and put them in a position where, again, they're going to be able to handle whatever it is that comes at them and be viewed in the correct light later down the line.
Sandy:No, exactly, I feel like we haven't had this issue really with Alah, but I can remember with Lexi too. It was just like constantly having that conversation of if this person was your friend, they would not behave in this manner, and that also that translates on so many different levels. Like to your point, I'm not there to judge anybody, but at the same time I don't need my child around certain kids because I just don't like how they behave. Yeah, you know. So then it's also about independence, right, like they need to be their own person, and so they do need to understand that as well. So it's not like we've ever just been, like you can't be friends with them. I think it's also at that point gives you the opportunity to also help guide them in being independent in their own person. Like the old saying like you know, just cause your friend does it doesn't mean you have to do it, but you know, getting them to think for themselves, and just you know.
Terrance:Yeah, I think promoting independence is important. While we're doing that, or while you're doing that as parents, just make sure that, when you start talking about allowing them to make decisions and giving them responsibilities, it's age appropriate. Like you know, you talked about the friends. Look, we don't pick your friends, but we will pick what movie that you can't see. You can decide to go to the movies with your friends, but there are some decisions that you know they should be allowed to make, but they have to be age appropriate. That teaches them a lot when you start talking about allowing them to be independent, and I think that that's key.
Sandy:Yeah well, even right age appropriate is a good one. I was thinking more in the later years. But in the earlier years we used to just say to Aila like hey you know you and your friends make the mess. You gotta clean it up. If the other one that didn't have your friends help you, that's on you, yeah well, I ain't cause then then you need to have this conversation with your friends and not to make that mess.
Terrance:Yeah, and as she started to grow, she's like listen, you guys gotta clean this up. I'm not cleaning this stuff up, you gotta clean this stuff up Exactly.
Terrance:So and that you know that that that transitions a little well into to, to this next point and I talked about it earlier when we talked about the educational system and that's teaching them emotional intelligence and when I say that that transitions well is because you know, aila learned to effectively communicate with her friends. You need to clean up the mess that you have made. I'm not going to be cleaning it up after you make a mess and then you then leave my house. But, yeah, that emotional intelligence piece, there is responsibility on the parents to work on that also. I think, again I said earlier, because kids are in school for a for a good portion of the day and they there's the opportunity for schools to start looking at helping kids with that. I think they should help with that. But then again, parents need to work on teaching their kids emotional intelligence, not just on the schools.
Sandy:Right. And so then also, we talked about schools and a lot of times the arts getting cut. You know, and unfortunate, not every parent is in the financial, has the financial ability to help with this, you know, when it comes to arts, but just even like that creativity side, it doesn't necessarily have to be, you know, a very expensive instrument. It can just be, like you know, coloring, drawing. I don't know just be other ways of just being creative, besides just music, even though I love music, yeah.
Terrance:You know you're right. So parents do need to nurture creativity at home. Again, we can't be in a situation where we're putting everything on the teachers. The teachers play a role in educating our kids. Parents play a role in parenting, educating, molding. There's so much more as a parent that you actually have a responsibility for, and when you start looking at somebody's things that we're pointing out when they're creative, they develop innovative thinking skills. When you have to think about a solution or you have to think outside the norm or outside the box, as they say, that comes from the creative aspect of your mind and we look at the world that we're in today. We need a lot of creative solutions for a lot of different things, and that's not gonna go away as time goes on. We're gonna need the younger generations to be more creative when we start talking about resolving some of these problems.
Sandy:I know, sometimes I look at people who come out with like I don't know, just new things, new inventions, and I'm like man, why don't I think of that? Yeah, listen.
Terrance:I was saying this last week. I was at work and I said listen, I keep coming up with these ideas and you guys are like ooh, we gotta get a research and development team together.
Terrance:We gotta stop putting some of these things together. They have these, and I'm not gonna say it because you know what I might end up coming out with these products. So I'm gonna leave it at that. But the one thing we mentioned this in the last episode one thing, another thing that parents we mentioned this in the last episode Another thing that parents need to do to prepare their kids for the future they gotta set realistic expectations, and by that what I mean is this I'm not gonna, you know, I talk to Sandy all the time, but Sandy always goes. She always goes one way with these things. When I say that is, we want to encourage our kids to be ambitious, we want to encourage them to dream big, but we wanna make sure that while we're doing that, we're setting realistic expectations, or we're instilling in them the ability to understand that they have to be realistic when they start talking about these things. Okay.
Terrance:Because when you do that, you're instilling in them the ability to appreciate patience and perseverance. Nothing is ever going well. I can't say nothing's ever gonna come easy. But there are gonna be some things that they're gonna have to get through and if they push and they work hard, they can achieve those. But they're gonna, they're going to be able to. They're going to need to be able to persevere and have patience.
Sandy:Right, like it's not to shoot for the stars, shoot for those stars. But then also, you know, I don't know, I don't even know exactly. It's shooting for the stars, but I don't know like. I'm just trying to figure out like a good explanation. But it's also like being realistic, like you said.
Terrance:Yeah, yeah, I was gonna say shoot for the stars. But understand when you're shooting for the stars there's hard work that comes with shooting for the stars.
Sandy:You can't go outside and just put your hand up and say I got a star Star come to me Exactly, yeah, and hence they need to be resilient. And one of the things that I've never liked in this but I'm just talking about this with friends last night is, at the end of the day, in the real world, not everybody is a winner. I guess need to understand that. No like.
Terrance:I hear what you're saying. I just think you want to just define that a little bit.
Sandy:Well, yeah, I was gonna get into it but, like you know, if you think about it, where okay, everybody played. You know baseball, everybody gets a medal. No, everybody. In the real world. That's not how it works. You have one championship team, that's it. Not everybody wins the Super Bowl, not everybody wins the world championship, it is one team. If there's a job opportunity and there's one opening and a hundred people apply, you don't get a medal because you applied for the job opportunity. It's the person who beats out the rest that gets the job. You know what?
Terrance:I mean, yeah, the one thing that I'll say with that, and I had this conversation. It's funny you say that I had this conversation last week, because some people take that and they say okay, well, there's one winner and everyone else's losers, and I don't agree with that.
Sandy:No, I feel like there's a learning experience in everything.
Terrance:Exactly, and that's the point that I'm making Just because you fail at something doesn't mean you're a failure. Exactly, when you take the chance to try to achieve something, there's lessons that you can learn on the way that will put you in a better position. If you don't achieve it the first time, and I think that that's the lesson that's lost, because when you say everyone is a winner when that person doesn't win, they don't look at the actual lessons, right. They look at it as oh well, I didn't get it. And I think the mindset needs to be changed, because no, exactly.
Terrance:You have to look at the journey as well as the destination. And the problem is, when you look at the destination, either you got it or you didn't, and for some people, not everyone's gonna get it. But if you look at the journey, if you look at well, in order to put myself in this position, I did A, b and C and you take those pieces and you tinker those pieces, you learn from those pieces, then that is success.
Sandy:Yeah, and that's why you need to be Brazilian. It's not like oh, I applied for the job. I didn't get it, I give up. Now I'm trying to think of what Einstein said, something like Eek YMC squared?
Terrance:No, it was.
Sandy:I'm pretty sure it was Einstein, but basically said it's not a failure. It was basically I was just missing something or it was. I can't remember. Now I feel horrible.
Terrance:I don't know the exact quote, but basically, I'm wondering if it was the quote. If you're thinking about, you only truly fail when you don't try something like that.
Sandy:And it wasn't that one, but that's a good one too.
Terrance:Yeah, all right. So let me talk about the last piece, where parents need to be preparing their kids for the future, and I'm gonna make this short because I have a whole episode prepared for this last piece. Parents, you need to start teaching your kids financial literacy, oh yeah, and you need to start when they're very, very young. And I'm not gonna get into detail because the very next episode I go in full detail on teaching kids financial literacy. But today we had a discussion and we talked about some of the things that we should be doing, what we should be discussing with the educational system, all these things that we should be preparing, doing to prepare our kids for the actual future. So, as we Good, good.
Sandy:First I gotta say the quote.
Terrance:Here's the quote.
Sandy:So I think there's different iterations of it, but you never fail until you stop trying.
Terrance:Yeah, that's yeah, yeah, I think that's what I said.
Sandy:If you've never failed. You've never tried anything? Yeah, yeah, so it was pretty much along the lines it was, but yes.
Terrance:Yeah. So as we wrap because this was a long one today it's clear that when we talk about preparing our kids for the future, it is a multifaceted challenge. There's different phases or different perspectives that you have to view when we talked about three of those today, but if we start to look at some of the things that we mentioned, we can work towards putting our kids in a better position and ensuring that their future is brighter than what it would be if we didn't Now. Now we're gonna get to my weekly reflection, and it's this Although technology facilitates global connections, preserving meaningful in-person relationships remain essential. Genuine human connections play a crucial role in promoting our overall well-being. When's the last time you saw someone you hadn't seen for a very long time and your mood just skyrocketed. You hug them. Haven't seen you in a long time. You start reminiscing Couple of weeks ago.
Terrance:Yeah, when's the last time you saw someone online and did that? It just doesn't happen. So Cup last night, so With that thank you for joining us on the Lunch with Sandy podcast. Be sure to follow and leave feedback on your favorite podcasting app. Until next time, stay well.
Announcer:That's it for this week's episode of the Lunch with Sandy podcast. Thanks for listening. We'd love to hear your feedback and comments on Instagram, TikTok and Twitter at Lunch with Sandy, and be sure to follow us on your favorite podcast app. If you enjoyed the show, don't forget to rate and review us. Thanks again for listening to the Lunch with Sandy podcast.
